Providing Supports - Not Punishments

Teaching third grade, I had a student who eloped from the classroom regularly. The teacher team agreed that the behavior was coming from a place of intentional disrespect, based on work avoidance and disinterest in school - an assumption we all landed on quickly, without digging into the potential root cause of the behavior. And, as so many teachers and schools do, we responded to that behavior with punishments, consequences, and structures designed to force the student to stay in the classroom. 

Those responses didn’t work.

Instead, the student’s behavior escalated: he began kicking, punching, spitting, and more. And with that, he got into more disciplinary trouble. Soon, this student was labeled with Oppositional Defiance Disorder, having a disregard for school authority. Even still - nothing worked to support the student or change his dangerous behavior. 

Then, we noticed something important - a pattern. Every single time he eloped, there was also the sound of a siren coming from an emergency vehicle, usually a block or two from the school. As soon as we identified the pattern, everything made sense: this student was triggered by the siren. His brain connected that sound with a past trauma in his life; his eloping was not a choice he consciously made. It was a fight or flight response over which he had zero control. 

We’d been punishing this student for behavior that came from a place of perceived danger. 

Immediately, our approach changed. The focus moved from compliance to safety. How can we make this student feel safer in the classroom? Here are a few things we did:

1. We taught the student about how the brain responds to triggers, and what some of his triggers are. Teaching a kid about triggers gives them the knowledge that there's nothing wrong with them - it's just their brain doing what it should do
2. We worked with the student to develop a plan that allowed him to find a safe place to go when he felt triggered. In this plan, we included procedures to ensure his relocation was safe and predictable for staff and other students, too.
3. We provided regulation tools available to the student at all times, so that his baseline level of regulation is higher. Tools like stress balls, kickbands, coloring books, fidgets, or calm corners are great ways to help students to remain regulated, and elevate their baseline level of regulation.

Over time, the student stopped eloping. When his brain told him to seek safety, he could look around the classroom and realize that he was already safe. Within the classroom, he could spot and deploy the strategies he needed to feel safe. And, with that, his academics improved, his relationships with teachers and other students improved, and he was generally happier to be in school. 

I learned an important lesson from this student: the traditional approach of punishment for misbehavior is usually ineffective. When we want to change challenging behavior, we need to begin with a curious approach that identifies the root cause of the behavior, and then provide support instead of punishment. And, I think we can all agree that support is preferable to punishment - for everyone involved.