Time Is vs Time Out

A common practice amongst parents is the implementation of the “time out.” I, too, have fallen victim to this easily implemented consequence plenty of times. Time-outs are certainly effective in stopping the unwanted behavior. However, Positive Parenting and many other parental online guidance platforms, offer an updated form of time-out; “time-ins”. Unlike time-outs where a child is asked to sit on a step or face the wall for some set period, time-ins create an opportunity for connection and regulation.

Let’s say your child is playing at the playground with some friends. She repeatedly jumps off the high part of the slide to join in on the fun. With her safety being compromised, you ask your child to come sit on a nearby bench. Implementing the time-in version, you acknowledge the fun she is having at the park. Then you ask your child if she knows why you asked her to take a break. Allow her to guess and then explain that what she was doing wasn’t safe. Remind your child of the park rules and that you want her to continue to have fun but also be safe while playing. The version allows time for the child to not only get themselves regulated, but also feel heard and understood. The next time you decide to implement a time-out, consider a time-in instead where you can connect with you child, help them get regulated, and get yourself regulated to better address your child.