Putting Verbs to Non-Verbal Communication

By: Lindsey Bernhardt

According to Albert Mehrabian, a well known communication researcher and expert, 55% of communication is non-verbal communication. This means that over half of what we are trying to tell someone isn’t said at all. Instead, we utilize our facial expressions, our body language, and our tone of voice to communicate. This doesn’t mean that our words don’t matter, but it does suggest that our body language may matter more.

In a recent school observation and coaching session, two things become abundantly clear. The first was that there was a lot of miscommunication going on and second, part of that miscommunication was around how much the teachers care about their students. After numerous conversations with teachers and staff, the majority of them expressed repeatedly how much they cared about the kids. With heartfelt words and actions, it was clear to us that they want their students to be successful, happy and safe. The students on the other hand were receiving the exact opposite message. The students would often disclose that they felt like the teachers didn’t have their backs, were judging them, or that they simply didn’t care. 

After many visits, what we found was that non-verbal communication was a huge factor in these miscommunications and misconceptions. Instead of greeting their students at their classroom door, teachers would sit at their desks working on their computer. We observed teachers standing over students with their arms crossed and facial expressions that could be interpreted as disapproval. In the hallways, teachers would walk past students who were crying or visibly upset without even stopping to check in if they were ok. Yet all along, the teachers care. They care so deeply that they show up, day in and day out with the hope of helping as many kids as they can. So how do we fix this? By being aware that over half of what we communicate isn’t done verbally, in a email, or in a note home, but instead it is done with our eyes, our facial expressions and our body language, we can stop the misinterpretations or miscommunications and ensure that the message we are trying to be conveyed is both heard and felt.