Parenting to Our Kids’ Strengths

By: Alexandra Murtaugh

Long before I became a parent I heard the idiom that you can't fit a square peg into a round hole. I also know that as a parent, there's so much responsibility on you for your childrens' eventual outcomes. So, how do you honor who your child is while also creating the space for growth?

From the time our kids are old enough to communicate, we should be observing what their interests and strengths are and actively building into those strengths. It can be hard as parents to try not to address and eradicate areas of weakness, and that's certainly an aspect of parenting, but we would do better by our kids to listen to them, hear their interests, and observe their strengths. 

Sometimes this will take a bit of undoing on our parts-- maybe we have this vision in our heads of what our child *should* be interested in or good at. But if I realize that my son does not excel at, nor is interested in, playing sports, but rather picks up music easily, it would benefit him to keep encouraging his love of music versus forcing his athletic attendance. It's our responsibility as parents to parent the kids that we have before us, not the kids we expect them to be. 

Everyone excels at something and figuring out what that is for your child and providing the space and time for your child to grow in that area will provide a foundation for the development of their self-efficacy and sense of confidence. When kids can cultivate a sense of their own aptitude, they will be able to then approach their weaknesses with a sense of confidence, not from a place of deficit. I encourage you to spend some time thinking about what your child is already excelling at and how you can support future growth in that area.