Home for the Summer

By: Lindsey Bernhardt

It is always exciting to have your child come home from college for the summer. Whether it's their first or last year of college, it is a time to reconnect with your kid and for your family to feel whole again. As wonderful as it is, sometimes challenges can arise if the transition isn’t thought out prior to them returning to the nest. After all, for the past ten months, your college student has been living independent of your expectations and family routines. This temporary lapse in supervision can often lead to a battle of freedom and responsibility, especially as their time in college continues. The good news is, as parents, we can prepare for this reunion to make it as smooth and regulated as possible.

This first key to keeping your home a “sweet home” is to be sure to discuss your expectations prior to their return. Perhaps you want them to have a summer job or have them volunteer somewhere. Maybe you want them to continue the chores they once had, or you want to create new ones that are more appropriate for them. Some parents may want to charge their child rent, have them help with their siblings or go grocery shopping. Maybe you want them to be home for family dinners or to walk the dogs every day. The list is honestly endless and can be tailored to what works best for you and your family. But no matter what expectations you have for them, be sure that what you expect is a discussion rather than a demand. Having what feels like rules again may feel overwhelming to your returning college kid, especially after having so much freedom for months. Collaborate on what is expected – share what you hope for them and allow them space to tell you what they want to do or goals they may have. In the end, a mature and early discussion of family expectations will be better received from all fronts.

The second thing to remember is that summer is supposed to be fun. As parents, we sometimes forget that our child has worked hard (hopefully) during the school year. Their brains require a break and need that time to reset before they dive back in the books again. Allow your child to still have some freedom and flexibility during the summer months. This can look like curfew being pushed back a bit, more time with their friends, or sleeping in sometimes while their internal clock resets. So long as the agreed upon expectations are being met, allow them to have choices and a safe amount of freedom. Your child will feel more heard and understood if we are flexible with how they spend their break from the books. 

Lastly, enjoy the time together. Time flies and before you know it, the house may feel empty or quieter again. As tough as the adjustment may feel at times, don’t lose site of the fact that all time together is important.