Hidden Signs of Anxiety in Kids

By: Alexandra Murtaugh

For a of reasons, kids don’t always have the ability to tell us how they feel. Sometimes a kid may not know how they feel, have the language to express it, or understand why they have the emotions they do. Part of our responsibility as caregivers is to use the knowledge that we have to figure out what kind of supports our kids might need. 

While we always advocate for kids to develop skills of emotional self-awareness so that they’re able to communicate their internal experiences, these skills need to be scaffolded and built over time. And unfortunately, before these skills are built, it may take a little detective work to figure out when a kid is having underlying feelings. Anxiety, as one of these feelings, is remarkably common in kids and adults. Below are some of the hidden ways that anxiety can present in kids who are feeling anxious:

• Stomachaches - Often kids who are anxious will end up at the nurse’s office at school because of stomach aches. Yet, these stomach aches don’t come with other symptoms and tend to be recurring over time. If you’re hearing your child complain often of stomach aches that have no medical cause, then it may be anxiety that they’re experiencing.
• Fidgeting/motor movement - All kids have different baseline levels of movement and some kids are more likely to fidget than others. However, you know your child and what’s common for them. If you see your child showing an increased amount of movement, especially as they’re approaching or in a transition, they may be feeling anxious. Pausing in these moments to do something soothing or mindful can be helpful.
• Headaches - While headaches, like all of the things on this list, can be caused by other issues, headaches can also be the result of anxiety or high stress levels. If your kid is struggling with recurrent headaches that have no underlying medical cause, it might be worth looking into stress and anxiety reduction techniques.
• Procrastination - As with fidgeting and motor movements, all kids have a baseline level of procrastination. Some kids are quick to get things done, while others seem to always wait until the last minute. However, if there are certain times of day or certain activities that your kids usually procrastinate with, it may be that there is anxiety surrounding that time or activity.

Anxiety is a very physical response and If you are noticing some of these patterns with your kids, it may be worth incorporating some regulating and calming activities into their toolkits (breathing breaks, mindfulness, movement/exercise, etc.) and seeing if it helps. Keep in mind that you don’t always need to delve into the source of the worry or anxiety in order to mitigate its impacts. You can focus, at least initially, on calming the body’s response to anxiety, because that provides a supportive tool for your child with more longevity.